Fanfiction is when someone writes a new plot with already established characters or, in most cases, have two characters who have no intention of sleeping together (whether it's sexual orientation or they simply despise each other) have hot sex for two pages. It's one of the most embarrassing forms of literature to write for but on a positive note it's sometimes the most fun to read. If you're like me, you enjoy reading it to kill time but hate it when you waste your time by clicking on crap. But what if you've narrowed down the archive enough where you still have thousands of pages? Surely you'll stumble across hundreds of bad ones! Since I've wasted a lot of time on this "delicate art", I've discovered some ways to weed through them to possibly find some fanfic gems. For the whole effect of this article, pull up www.fanfiction.net and go to your favorite story archive and follow along:
1. “This is my first story”- Writers will tell you this fact if they aren't confident enough in their skill so they tell you this so you won't tear them a new asshole. I remember when I wrote my first fanfic I knew enough not to post this and it got more views on it because I did that because even though I wasn't the best writer back then it still allowed readers to go in with a higher expectation than just posting "this is my first story don't hurt me".
2. “My summary sucks”/the summary sucks period- How can you trust the story will be good if the writer just told you they aren't competent enough to actually write a 160 character summary? By saying "my summary sucks" you just wasted 14 precious characters!
3. Grammar/spelling mistakes in first chapter/summary
4. No summary at all
5. Title is “untitled” or “One shot” or “(insert character here) love story”, ect.- If the title sucks, don't expect the story to be Shakespeare. This is like Quizilla bad! A side note as well if the title is spaced like t h i s and in ALL CAPS, the author thinks they are being artsy and making their story stand out. It's standing out all right; it looks like the most ridiculous title out there. Also if the title is spelled wrong or is capitalized incorrectly, that's a tip off to what you might be clicking on
6. “Abandoned”- if they tell you they gave up on the story and they still won't take it down, there's no point in reading it. The only hit this story receives is me writing a comment about taking their story down!
7. Requesting Reviews in summary- I know its encouraging to writers to read reviews (especially if they're good) but a writer shouldn't feel obligated to request a review before you've even read the story. This rule doesn't apply to all fanfics, but still a good chunk of this have this element. I never request reviews and I usually don't get that many but when I do get a review it just makes my day knowing that I earned it:)... Unless it's a flame:(
8. "Submit characters"- This just indicates off the bat that the writer has no control over the story and that their story is so flimsy that anyone's character can fit in their plot. But if you want to f%#k around with stories like this, request a prostitute/slutty character in, let's say, a Whinny the Pooh fanfiction.
9. No Flames- Look I hate being flamed as much as the next guy but that's just fanning the flames (I promised myself only one bad pun per article) by saying that. Take the heat or get out of the kitchen!
10. Word Count Under 1,000- Fact: No one can write a fulfilling piece of fiction in 300 words. I'm not saying it takes infinity and beyond to have a good story but you're going to save yourself a lot of time if after you've narrowed down your options you go to length tab and go to 1000.
11. Describes Rating- Okay this one is pretty obvious but usually it will take up half the summary word count just to describe the rating. On Fanfiction.net, the ratings range from K-M (G-R in movie terms) but some authors can't pick their rating. Hmm let's put on our common sense caps and evaluate this: if there's no swearing or sexual/graphic content, then it'd be K-K+, but if there's a little bit of those themes it'd be T and if it's goes past that it's M. Is that really so perplexing that you have to tell the reader. I'm sure if I'm looking for a T or M rated story I know what I'm getting into... even though I have been mentally scarred by not knowing the lingo.
9. No Flames- Look I hate being flamed as much as the next guy but that's just fanning the flames (I promised myself only one bad pun per article) by saying that. Take the heat or get out of the kitchen!
10. Word Count Under 1,000- Fact: No one can write a fulfilling piece of fiction in 300 words. I'm not saying it takes infinity and beyond to have a good story but you're going to save yourself a lot of time if after you've narrowed down your options you go to length tab and go to 1000.
11. Describes Rating- Okay this one is pretty obvious but usually it will take up half the summary word count just to describe the rating. On Fanfiction.net, the ratings range from K-M (G-R in movie terms) but some authors can't pick their rating. Hmm let's put on our common sense caps and evaluate this: if there's no swearing or sexual/graphic content, then it'd be K-K+, but if there's a little bit of those themes it'd be T and if it's goes past that it's M. Is that really so perplexing that you have to tell the reader. I'm sure if I'm looking for a T or M rated story I know what I'm getting into... even though I have been mentally scarred by not knowing the lingo.
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